“For we know in part, then we shall know fully” (1 Cor 13:12). These words of St Paul seem to capture our own state of mind concerning the return of Fabian’s leukaemia. We know that initially chemo and now a bone marrow transplant have failed to eradicate this aggressive disease, and this in spite of his event-free and sustained health after both first and second remission. So we face this once more and to quote a line, ‘this time it’s serious’. Our consultants are of the opinion that Fabian deserves, and has every hope of a cure, via a second stem cell transplant (SCT). This is a wonderful lifleline for which we thank God. All the more so as we know we have our reserve sibling donor, Oleander, ready and waiting to offer Fabian this gift. This is the strategy but much needs to be finalised beforehand and an unrelated 10/10 matched donor is also an option if that would provide a better combination of engraftment, GvHD and GvL. Fabian will first undergo an intense block of chemo to get him into remission – a prerequisite for SCT – and this begins on Monday. He has spent the last 2 weeks grumpily complaining about the hospital, the food, us and anyone that dares approach! This is so understandable as we gradually explain to him what he must go through. Fabian has tremendous perception and emotional insight for one so young, often bringing us to tears with his heartfelt remarks; ‘Mummy, my body is broken isn’t it?’, ‘Without Oli here it’s like a piece of my heart is missing’ and ‘If I don’t feel any pain why can’t I go home?”. He is equally stoic and this quality will serve him well during the difficult days ahead as we have been warned that the risk of complication or infection is much higher, often proving more dangerous than the disease itself. Meanwhile, we have been offered a brief period of respite as Fabian has been allowed home for the weekend to recharge his spirit ready for the prolonged stay in hospital. He has always been asking to stay in the Legoland Hotel so that is what we are going to do! Fortuitously, Oli comes home from Uni today so we shall all be together to enjoy the moment. It will be precious.
