Half empty

D+ 22:  I’ve always tried to write this blog through a ‘half full’ perspective; no-one wants to read a ‘woe is me’ diarist.  But there are times when feeling ‘half empty’ would be telling it as it is and this week fits that bill nicely.  As noted last time, Fabian’s WBC has started to rise and we think engraftment is not too far off, especially as he is now 22 days post transplant.  Other than that, his health has not been good and it is thoroughly soul-destroying to see him struggling with the raft of side effects on a constant basis.  A recent complication has been a chest infection which may or may not be viral but which they are attacking with an armoury of antibiotics.  This toxic onslaught caused his kidney function to deteriorate so they have had to pull back the dosage to allow this to recover.  The mucositis, itching, vomiting, diarrhoea and lethargy all persist and Fabian expelled his NG tube a few days ago (again) so lack of nutrition is back on the agenda.  He is understandably a lot grumpier these days and visits are not exactly a pleasant exchange of well-wishing!  We’re both still immensely proud of his resilience and fortitude and these qualities will help him overcome much in later life.  Other family issues are not helping to make life a bed of roses at present but I’d like to end on a half full thought, reminding myself that ‘He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world’.  Join me next time for better news!