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Raining in my heart

“There’s a grief that can’t be spoken, there’s a pain that goes on and on”. The words from the melancholic song in Les Miserables are never more true for us than now. Its’s been a little over 4 months. On … Continue reading

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Remembrance Day 2014 – our fighter goes home

I forgot to wear a poppy this year nor did I observe the minute silence at 11. I was too engrossed holding Fabian’s hand and gazing into his beautiful face as he lay peacefully dying in a hospital bed, his … Continue reading

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Pain and awe

Having pulled through life-threatening septicaemia, Fabian has had to endure a number of further complications in rapid succession. The worst of these has been his stoma which has caused no end of problems. Ironically, we agreed to have this inserted … Continue reading

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The longest night

I’ve learnt not to assume when I wake up that I have any idea or control over what unexpected event might happen that day.  In other words, to take nothing for granted.  Because when I went to work as normal … Continue reading

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Infections, decisions and our big G

Torrid times for Fabian as he succumbs to more infections resulting in three hospital admissions in the past two weeks. This is a predictable outcome of him having close to zero white cells and completely zero neutrophils. Without this natural … Continue reading

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This sucks!

Time for a polite rant – this disease sucks. Whatever we have thrown at it, the thing reinvents itself and comes back stronger. Medically, they call it clonal evolution so whereas in the early days the leukaemia had ‘one cancerous … Continue reading

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Change of course

Since I began this blog three years ago, I have always held to the notion that a half full attitude is better than a half empty one.  Not just an empty sentiment – the book of Proverbs warns us that … Continue reading

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Down but not out

Regular followers will note I have been offline for the entire duration of the World Cup.  This is pure coincidence, I assure you, as had there been news to tell that would have been my first priority (the fact that … Continue reading

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Tanks and thanks

Well, after all the hype, our T Day came and went in underwhelming fashion.  The build up to this, Fabian’s second round of immunotherapy, has seemed hugely drawn out so we did not approach today with the same alacrity as … Continue reading

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Last stop

There are two big events coming up in my diary, coincidentally both on or around the same day.  One is the start of the World Cup – come on England! (odds are not looking good though) and the other date, … Continue reading

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